woman: (noun wom·an\wu̇mən)
an adult female human being, a woman who has a specified job or position, a woman belonging to a particular category (as by birth, residence, membership, or occupation) —usually used in combination; councilwoman, a woman who is a servant or personal attendant


control: (verb  con·trol \kən-ˈtrōl\)
to direct the behavior of(a person or animal), to cause (a person or animal) to do what you want, to have power over (something), to direct the actions or function of (something), to cause (something) to act or function in a certain way

 

A woman "in control" is generally, and perhaps especially (and ironically) in these progressive-seeming United States not well thought of.  If you search the terms woman + control, you are likely to come across numerous sites that promote, or scorn female dominance via whips and leather, and chaps and chains. Not having partaken in such activities personally I can't help but wonder how much these fantasies help or hinder the movement toward equality.


I strongly believe as long as no one is getting hurt, ahem, what goes on behind closed doors between two, or more, consenting adults is private and personal and none of my affair.  This wasn't always the case.   I had believed rather strongly, in my young adulthood....ok probably well into my thirties...ok, fine until I was nearing the 1/2 century mark...that the whole submissive/dominance routine...(I know...I'm pushing it) was not helping the feminist cause, as it were, but making it more difficult.  I've changed my mindset, grown, expanded across a horizon or two, or at least I've given up on the one size fits all view of feminism.  Maybe I let go of some control?


How can we change the negative, outdated stereotypes that remain to the detriment of the group?  How can women be in control of boardrooms, courtrooms, classrooms and even bedrooms without being viewed as bitchy, controlling, rigid, domineering or emasculating?   I suppose, if it were up to me, I would really like to see some shifting around the term "emotional" and the correlation between a woman expressing thoughts with emotion, and weakness or lack of control.   Men and women are meant to be different by design, why can't we remain different but equal, different and equally valued?